While we were away in North Wales I joked to the husband that the last time I felt this bad I was pregnant, we both laughed it off not thinking it was a possibility. I put that thought to the back of my mind and decided I needed to make an appointment with the Dr to check my blood levels. When we got home I continued on the really tired, not being able to do much and sleeping all the time path and one morning, while I was still half asleep, not really thinking and for no other reason that I can fathom other than it was there, I found myself picking up an unused pregnancy test left over from months ago.
Around 30 seconds later I was staring in shock and disbelief at the result, it was positive? But...How? (Don't answer that, I know how!) I walked out of the bathroom in shock just as the husband was waking up 'what have you got there?' He said 'what's wrong?' I just handed it over and watched as he turned white then left him to it as the girls were waking up.
I went around for the rest of the day in shock, I was pregnant? The husband and I had agreed that we weren't going to do this again. We had decided that there was too much heartache and pain and that was it, we were sticking with our 2 beautiful girls. How could I be pregnant again?
Before long and after lovely people talked sense into me, I spoke to the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit got a scan arranged and found out I was around 6 weeks. The midwife was great, she told me she was at the end of the phone whenever I was worried about anything and she scheduled me another scan at 8 weeks.
The next 6 weeks went by so slowly, ticking along second by second aware that at any moment I could miscarry this precious precious baby who, so clearly to me, desperately didn't want to be forgotten. Here we are at 13 weeks. Its been a roller coaster ride full of anxiety but I finally feel like I can sigh a breath of relief today. The danger is not over, it has not passed, my baby will need to continue to fight to be born, but we made it through the first trimester. 1 down 2 to go, bring it on!